Hillbilly Hollywood Wedding

I dreamed I was at some sort of rural barn/dance hall. Inside was brown and there was a dirt floor. There were folded wooden chairs in haphazard lines, and no decorations that I recall. I was getting married, except I was in an ugly blue gown that only came to my knees and it was made out of blue velveteen or terrycloth - I felt truly trashy in it. The blue was faded like a towel that had been through too many washes. Looking down, I saw that I wasn't even wearing heels - instead, I was wearing slouchy sock/boots of the same horrible blue material. There was a giant empty barrel in a corner the size of a swimming pool.

I kept leaving, even though it was my wedding, to stand in an adjoining room, alone. I didn't know what I was doing there - I was so confused, and generally felt unhappy. My mother came in, and she seemed concerned. Why was I stalling at my own wedding? she seemed to ask. I wanted her to make things better somehow, but I knew she couldn't. The guests were getting anxious. I lied and said I was fine. I forced myself to smile, and walked back out. This sequence repeated, except sometimes I was alone in the room, and sometimes there were strangers there.

The groom was not familiar to me. I thought I knew him from somewhere - but he wasn't the right man. I thought I was being forced to marry a teenage boy - from the nearby village, but this man was much older than me, with reddish hair. As I stood there, staring at him, I realized I couldn't say my vows because I couldn't remember his name. He stared at me, impatient. My mind was racing. Suddenly, I realized who he was.

"You're Conan...O'Brien!" I said, shocked. Why was I marrying a celebrity? And why wasn't I happy - I was going to be rich, and I was leaving the dirt behind? He was reading his vows from a red teleprompter, but he was running late for his show because I kept leaving the wedding. "Just skip to the end? Sum up?" I suggested, and he did, saying something about a fulfilling and enduring love. "That...was actually very beautiful," I said, giving him a hug. I hadn't expected anything that nice. He just sort of up and left then, to catch a helicopter. The celebration seemed unreal, as though people were unsure if they should celebrate. I was unsure myself. I kept telling myself to be happy, that I was getting something worthwhile, but really I felt bland and a little sad. I could not believe that I had gone through with it.

Throughout this dream, there was a sort of cutaway of young boys running around the interior of the church/barn/dance hall place. And there was a large man sitting in one of the chairs, with big red sideburns on his face.



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I don't recall ever dreaming of a wedding - and what an unpleasant way to wake up, feeling as though I'd forced myself to do something that wasn't going to make me happy, for no apparent reason. And I don't usually dream about Mom - I wonder what I was trying to tell myself by having her show up?

I do know that I had this dream while I was supposed to be in a place of self-reflection and peace. My mind refused to unwind itself, and what sleep I did get was restless and full of internal noise. I was surrounded by calm, and my internal self rebelled against grace and stillness. I guess that would technically make this dream a nightmare - since it was a revulsion of the self. Either that, or my subconscious was desperately trying to show me how my mind has become a horrible place that needs re-evaluation, since there was a lot of symbolism in this dream, now that I look at it.