Wrong Hemisphere

I was on a sort of cruise ship, sailing. It was not a big ship. I was near the stern of the ship, and I saw seals in the water, on an ice flow or maybe it was a dock before we sailed.

It was icy out - the water was filled with icebergs and snow, and I decided that I could swim out and see what was there. I wanted to see wildlife. So I did, I climbed into the icy water and started to swim through the snow and slush. After a while, I found a larger ice flow and climbed up. Not to far from me, I saw a small group of people watching a dolphin standing on its tail. Farther in the distance, there were spotlights for a worksite, and I heard a voice yell out "land ho!" I looked around, and out beyond the lights there were what I thought to be mountains.

Now it was twilight, and I had to get back to the ship. I knew that it was going to get much colder once the sun went down, so I started swimming. It was slow going - my front was so cold in the icy water. I got worried. The icy sea seemed to stretch on forever, but I knew that I could not stop swimming or I'd freeze to death. I sensed the ship in the distance. I was so cold, and I really wanted to stop moving. I thought I heard someone call out that I was in the water.

I reached out for the ladder on the ship, and missed it. The ship sailed right by me, and I cursed my luck for missing the ship by one hand's length. But then I was pulled up by A.T., who was upset at my stupidity. There was this air about everyone who thought I had been suicidal, except I hadn't been. I was a little put out by this.

As we came into dock, I was excited by the fact that I had put my feet on another continent. Then I realized, and said aloud, "Goddamn it - Antarctica is on the other end of the world! Idiot!"

*****

I disembarked onto a giant river delta with steamboats. Young Clint Eastwood was there in his poncho, auditioning for a movie. All he had to do was put a cigarette in his mouth, and he was cast. That's because he was auditioning for yet another western.


******


I don't recall dreaming about ice before - not on an ocean anyways.

Cats and Red Pandas

This dream was a last minute addition to what I believe was a zombie apocalypse dream - lots of running, two warring factions, etc.

*****

I found a baby red panda and took it "home" - though my home had a lot of arbors hanging with bougainvillea and what not. It felt a little Spanish in nature. But at some point I put the red panda in the refrigerator to let it sleep, and forgot about it. Then I remembered it and retrieved it, but it was so cold and small, and it was on a plate surrounded by what appeared to be soy sauce. I held it to my chest and tried to clean it off. I was so worried that it was going to die. I walked about, trying to remember what red pandas ate. Then I thought worried about how I was going to take care of the red panda when it was fully grown, and I couldn't hold it.

Then the little red panda came back to life and started to grow till it was about the size of a cat. I put it on a shelf, and then my other cats were there. One of them hissed and swiped at the panda, which growled back. I realized that it was not the mother cat, but one of toms, and scolded them. Then the panda snapped at me, and I hugged him and told him he shouldn't, because then I would have to abandon him.

Two Nights: Two Parts of a Nightmare

Day 1:

Two musical chords.

****

Yes, that was all I remember. Two horrible, movie-style "look-out!" musical chords. Woke up and was halfway across the hotel bed toward the window before I realized that I had only dreamed it.

I remember nothing else.





Day 2:

I was running home through the cornfields in the back of the house. The fields were still brown and not yet tilled, and I was running along the edge, between the field and the forest. There were snakes, sleeping along the forest edge. I ran past them, not really looking at them because they were harmless. Then I thought I saw a hooded cobra, and I stopped, thinking "Cobras don't live in Indiana..." As I stopped to look, the snake reared back and sort of bit me in the hip. I was surprised, and plucked it off. We both looked at each other, sort of surprised, then the snake extended its fangs and sunk them deep into my side, like around my kidney.

****

Again, I woke up, though this time I did not attempt to escape my bed.

Later, while at the Sonora Desert Museum (highly recommend it), I saw a medium-sized snake, black and shiny, slithering across the sidewalk below me. I decided to give it a wide berth.

Swords and Shame

I was at some type of college - it looked like my old college, except with large brick verandas. There was a fight workshop of sorts going on. All the students were in Elizabethan garb. Half the class started working with shields, the other half with swords. It was blurry, but I remember being happy with how things were going.

Later, we were watching a movie. Something like the Three Musketeers. I was commenting on it, and my fight instructor (who I know in real life) whispered in my ear that I was annoying everyone and should be quiet. So I was, and I felt ashamed.

The rest is blurry, but at some point I found a secret door in the facade of a brick building. I don't remember if I was able to go through it, or if I watched my classmates go through it. It closed back up.

Washington Post

I was in a town in Washington - or possibly Canada. I tried to explain my location to a woman on a phone, and when I looked at the map I had gone north into Canada, but there was a line on the map which said "No Record Beyond this Point". I had gone west through Canada, and the state of Washington was blinking on the map, but I wasn't confident that I was there.

I was at a house, and Matt Damon, Zoe Deschanel, and Darren Criss were around. The house was suburban, and there was a pool in back. The whole thing had an air of incompleteness about it. It was a property, but not a home. I had traveled to this place to write. I was working in an office occasionally? Or at least, I was occasionally in a sort of office building. I got a letter from a woman, handwritten and on some sort of napkin, saying that she wanted to publish my book on female gamers and would offer me a healthy paycheck. Then she called. I was walking around the town, trying to make sense of what she was saying and not sound too happy. I reflected on my book, on my essays, and what still needed to be done. I could not believe that she was going to pay me for a book I had not finished.

When we hung up, I wanted to surprise everyone, so I didn't say anything. Later, at a table by the pool, I announced that I was going to have my book published by...I think I said something like P.T. Waterly? I can't remember. Then Mitch (actor friend), burst out laughing at the name of the publisher. He was making fun of me, and I was crushed that his first response was to laugh at me. Darren Criss gave me a hug, but I didn't feel better. I fell into a sadness because the first reaction was to make fun of my project.

****

This is the second dream in recent memory where I've felt ridiculed by actors I know, even though I don't think of them with animosity.

I do actually have such a book in the making - but it's not very good. I don't think my style is engaging enough - but that would be news for a different sort of blog.

Battleships and Blades

In fragmented pieces, and in no particular order:

Dad, nephew and I were on a ship - either a cruise ship or a military ship. We were all sitting out of a table. The weather was clear and we were in a sort of bay. Suddenly, the ship listed to the side. I looked out the window and saw the sea rising up to meet us, and the horizon line tipped diagonally. "Uh oh," Dad mumbled, as everything tipped and the water seemed to be above us for somehow. "Grab onto me," I ordered my nephew, and he did just as everything went dark.

Then we were outside the ship, floating in the water. Not sure how we got there. Another wave was hitting another boat. There were people nearby on a smaller boat, who offered to get us out. I can't remember why, but I was still in the water (don't remember if nephew was with me). There were swells further out on the water. Along the coast, there seemed to be some sort of fire or fight going on, like a war.

****

There was a series of large metal tubes and wires and gears, like along a factory. They were tinted red and there was fire below. Antonio Banderas and Peter Sarsgaard were having a sword fight in 18th century garb. Peter's character was angry because Antonio's character (who was in possession of a couple very fine white masks with black swirls on them) had wasted all their gold and had not accomplished the mission. There were flashbacks to a masquerade party, and a spy network. They fought back and forth, and Peter chased Antonio all over, though eventually they both lost interest in fighting. At some point - I can't remember if it was before or after the fight - they were joined by Alan Cummings, also in period garb. Alan was a dandy - he was there to stop them from fighting and be generally useless.

****

The camera panned up from this? Anyways I knew that if we were going to win the fight, we had to see what the enemy was doing. I was buying machines and fighters - the whole map went into view like a video game, and I was a small ship flying over the enemy metropolis. They had turrets and lots of mechanical robots which had two giant feet and a sort of domed top. "Too many walkers," I thought, and tried to buy some more units at my city. The enemy city tried to shoot down my airplane, but they missed.

****

Space - we were floating in space, holding onto a satellite thing. I think I was punishing some teenagers for being disrespectful of some nuns? I can't remember, as this was the fuzziest part of the dream. I just seem to recall the sensation of being where there was no air, and floating around.

****

This is the second dream in a row where I've dreamed of protecting my nephew. Two days ago I had a "Hunger Games" dream where I protected him from a jeep full of snakes, while letting my sister and other people float down a river without saving them.

Hillbilly Hollywood Wedding

I dreamed I was at some sort of rural barn/dance hall. Inside was brown and there was a dirt floor. There were folded wooden chairs in haphazard lines, and no decorations that I recall. I was getting married, except I was in an ugly blue gown that only came to my knees and it was made out of blue velveteen or terrycloth - I felt truly trashy in it. The blue was faded like a towel that had been through too many washes. Looking down, I saw that I wasn't even wearing heels - instead, I was wearing slouchy sock/boots of the same horrible blue material. There was a giant empty barrel in a corner the size of a swimming pool.

I kept leaving, even though it was my wedding, to stand in an adjoining room, alone. I didn't know what I was doing there - I was so confused, and generally felt unhappy. My mother came in, and she seemed concerned. Why was I stalling at my own wedding? she seemed to ask. I wanted her to make things better somehow, but I knew she couldn't. The guests were getting anxious. I lied and said I was fine. I forced myself to smile, and walked back out. This sequence repeated, except sometimes I was alone in the room, and sometimes there were strangers there.

The groom was not familiar to me. I thought I knew him from somewhere - but he wasn't the right man. I thought I was being forced to marry a teenage boy - from the nearby village, but this man was much older than me, with reddish hair. As I stood there, staring at him, I realized I couldn't say my vows because I couldn't remember his name. He stared at me, impatient. My mind was racing. Suddenly, I realized who he was.

"You're Conan...O'Brien!" I said, shocked. Why was I marrying a celebrity? And why wasn't I happy - I was going to be rich, and I was leaving the dirt behind? He was reading his vows from a red teleprompter, but he was running late for his show because I kept leaving the wedding. "Just skip to the end? Sum up?" I suggested, and he did, saying something about a fulfilling and enduring love. "That...was actually very beautiful," I said, giving him a hug. I hadn't expected anything that nice. He just sort of up and left then, to catch a helicopter. The celebration seemed unreal, as though people were unsure if they should celebrate. I was unsure myself. I kept telling myself to be happy, that I was getting something worthwhile, but really I felt bland and a little sad. I could not believe that I had gone through with it.

Throughout this dream, there was a sort of cutaway of young boys running around the interior of the church/barn/dance hall place. And there was a large man sitting in one of the chairs, with big red sideburns on his face.



******


I don't recall ever dreaming of a wedding - and what an unpleasant way to wake up, feeling as though I'd forced myself to do something that wasn't going to make me happy, for no apparent reason. And I don't usually dream about Mom - I wonder what I was trying to tell myself by having her show up?

I do know that I had this dream while I was supposed to be in a place of self-reflection and peace. My mind refused to unwind itself, and what sleep I did get was restless and full of internal noise. I was surrounded by calm, and my internal self rebelled against grace and stillness. I guess that would technically make this dream a nightmare - since it was a revulsion of the self. Either that, or my subconscious was desperately trying to show me how my mind has become a horrible place that needs re-evaluation, since there was a lot of symbolism in this dream, now that I look at it.